Hiwatari and the Mary Sue Hunt
by Rashomon Aetelier
Summary: Satoshi and Daisuke are brought face to face with a creature of terrible evil known as the Mary Sue and a secret society of bishonen hunters known as the B.R.A.
1. Kitchen commotion

**Disclaimer**: I don't own DNAngel and if I did… well… we'd be seeing Krad and Satoshi doing very very very odd things. Cicero F. Kahran, Stefan "Skye Fiinix" Virroci and the Invisible Narrator appear c/o Rokuryu Studios 2005  
**Author's note**: This chapter was inspired over breakfast. Peach marmalade is the shznit.  
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Hiwatari-kun and the Mary Sue Hunt  
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He awoke to the sudden commotion in the kitchen. Loud conversation, food being prepared, the clattering of silverware as it was being moved around… the whole caboodle. With a groan of frustration, he slipped out of bed and decided to prepare for school. If whoever was in the kitchen left a mess, he would have time to clean it up before he left.

Satoshi blinked as he saw just who were making a mess in his kitchen.

Daisuke Niwa was enjoying what seemed to be a rather long conversation with a girl wearing a blue baseball cap and a black shirt. The peanut butter was out and so was the peach marmalade which made the blunette wonder just what she was doing with said sandwich condiments.

"Making a sandwich. Doi." The girl grinned, turning to him.

"You read minds?" Satoshi asked.

At this, the female merely flashed him a particularly cheery smile. "Nah. I just know the narrator." She added. Satoshi raised an eyebrow at the statement.

Hi.

"That narrator." The girl explained.

Satoshi folded his arms across his chest, studying the female. "Who are you and what are you doing in my kitchen?" he demanded. "Good morning, Hiwatari-kun!" Daisuke chirped as he passed Satoshi on the way from the refrigerator.

The redhead poured milk for both himself and the girl. "Would you like some milk?" he offered with a curious blink. "…no thank you." Satoshi replied and turned his attention back to the girl who was now devouring said sandwich. Gulping down the milk to force the sandwich down, the girl pulled off her baseball cap and bowed to Satoshi. "Cicero Farguz Kahran de Leaureaux of the house of Leaureaux. Director of Rokuryu Studios, field agent of the BRA." She said, straightening up and placing her cap back on her head.

"The bra?" Satoshi asked, eyebrow still raised.

"Not the bra. The B.R.A. Bishonen Rescue Agency!" Cicero cried, insulted.

"Never heard of it." The blunette said matter of factly and made his way into the kitchen, taking a slick of bread from the bread bin. "Of course you haven't! The BRA is a secret society that deals with bishonen like yourself and Daisuke here to protect them from fangirls." Cicero grinned.

The whole matter seemed fishy but there did seem to be a decrease in the girls who used to hound him from school every day. There were even lesser females who chased him down with inane love letters he hardly read, much less accepted.

Perhaps there was a thing to this… BRA.

Daisuke looked up from his glass of milk. "Sey-kun here says she wants to hunt down something called a… Mary Sue?" he surmised. At this, Cicero nodded. "I've gotten a report that there might be Mary Sues brewing in your area." She sighed, leaning against the kitchen counter. "And just what is a Mary Sue?" Satoshi asked, watching the girl with a rather curious look that seemed more suspicious than anything.

Cicero pulled her cap off her head. "Yknow… they're the kinds that are absolutely perfect in any way…. Beautiful, smart and are sometimes gifted with abilities that catch your attention. I dunno. I think Dark must've come across a few." She replied with a shrug, watching Daisuke blink in confusion. "I should know. I used to be one." With that, she nodded sagely. "But they put me through therapy." She added a moment later with a grin.

This made her a bit more suspicious. A former Mary Sue? "Well?" she suddenly called, pulling herself away from the kitchen counter. "If you two are done with breakfast, we can go on our Sue hunt."

"But what about school?" Daisuke asked.

"School's cancelled for the day." Cicero explained.

Thank goodness she had threatened the principal at gunpoint to do so.  
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Well, so much for the first chapter. My apologies if those two seemed a bit OOC. This is after all, the first time I've attempted to write a DNAngel fic. .  
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(All reviews that go along the lines of "DiS Fiic SUKz! J00 R a LOusY wrITER. Don't RID dis loooozers cRAOP." Will be laughed at and deleted.)


	2. Something sueish this way comes

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own DNAngel. Proof: Krad doesn't wake up beside Sato. nods Stefan "Skye Fiinix" Virroci and Cicero F. Kahran appear c/o Rokuryu Studios 2005.  
**Author's note:** Ok, so far, so good. I gots reviews so, thanks for those who did. Someone mentioned they got confused so I thought a glossary might be handy.

Mary Sue – An OC usually paired up with a canon character. Usually made by some rabid fangirl or another, tends to be annoyingly perfect in every single way. May have kickasz powahs.

BRA – The Bishonen Rescue Agency, an agency composed of fangirls who have, in one way or another, wisened up and have joined the crusade against manic fangirls and mary sues. Their field agent is Cicero Kahran, herself once a Mary Sue.

With that done with, I think we can get back to fic now.  
Hiwatari and the Mary Sue Hunt

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Three figures walked down the street. The two boys stayed behind as the agent walked a couple of steps before them with her hands in her pockets, amber eyes scanning the scene for any sign of a Mary Sue. She let out a deep sigh and shook her head. Cicero would've rather wanted to do the hunt on her own but every good agent knows that a Mary Sue only comes out when a bishonen is in the area.  
It would be good to educate these guys.  
"You two ok there?" she asked, smiling and turning to her two companions. Satoshi merely adjusted his glasses and turned away. Daisuke in turn nodded rapidly and stared off into the opposite direction. With another half-hearted sigh, she turned her attention to the streets. Who knew really if there was a Sue in the area? Maybe headquarters gave her a false alarm.  
But the alarms were never wrong.  
Maybe the Sue heard she was coming and decided to hide.  
Cicero couldn't help but let out a loud "ha!" at the very thought. Now that sounded like a feasible explanation. He could be wrong, though. Mary Sues jad this tendency to be hard headed when faced with a bishonen they liked.  
Amber eyes turned back to the two males. The agent wondered just who the Sue was after. Her gaze wandered over to Daisuke. A redhead to the most literal of extents, nice bubbly personality, soft heart, must be nice. His partner Dark was a common target for the vermin. There were at least three… four sues out for him last she checked. Her gaze then drifted over to Satoshi. Bluenette, not exactly gifted with twenty-twenty vision but some people found the glasses hot, serious, a bit cold, maybe he was the target. Who knew? Sues weren't picky.

As she mused, a sudden scream came from before them. The high pitch seemed so melodious, so perfect in tone, it seemed as if it was a scream that came from the angels above. There was no denying it.  
"Keep yer eyes open, boys! Here she comes!" Cicero cried.  
Soon enough, there she was indeed: a figure of the most absolute perfection. Gelden hair shimmered in the morning sun as It shone with an ethereal light, obviously cared for by the most effective of conditioners and perfumed with the strongest of shampoos. Her eyes shimmered like deep sapphires tinged with tears and sorrow. She was rather tall, lanky and beautiful as all Sues were, long limbed and pale of skin. She was clothed in a sleeveless top and a miniskirt, showing off her deathly slender legs and probably more skin than necessary. A crowd composed of bullies, perverts, pedophiles, wicked stepmothers/stepfathers, school jocks, geeks, an entire football team, a fruit vendor, a ramen cart owner, a hooded bunny, a cat and a squirrel gave chase.  
Cicero could feel a twitch developing in her right eye. All mary sues made her twitch, anyway. She twitched as the sue ran. She twitched as the sue fell. She twitched as the sue turned their way. "Help…. Me…!" she cried as she promptly passed out. The agent sighed and shook her head.  
Amber eyes turned up as she saw Satoshi staring blankly at the Mary Sue. "Oh no…" she groaned. "Hi… Hiwatari-kun…?" Daisuke asked, taking his friend's hand. No response. "Oh sh…" Cicero grumbled. "We've lost him, Daisuke.. Sooner or later, he's gonna go over there and be all OOC and save her." Daisuke's eyes widened in sheer terror. This was indeed horrible. Daisuke grabbed Satoshi by the shoulders and began to furiously shake him. "Hiwatari-kun! Hiwatari-kun, snap out of it!" he cried.

Cicero shook her head. "No good, kid. We gotta knock him out or something before he gets to her." She advised. "Let go of me, Daisuke… don't you see someone's in trouble…?" Satoshi asked in a nearly zomble-like tone.  
It was too late.  
They had lost him.  
"Kahran-san, what do we do?" Daisuke asked. "The only thing we can do for now." Cicero replied, latching herself onto Satoshi's leg as the blunette began to make his way toward the fallen Sue.  
"I'll hold him down. You find something to knock him out with!"  
"Alright!" cried a voice from deep within Daisuke.  
"DAAKU!" both Daisuke and Cicero cried in irritation.  
The agent blinked. It was amazing what bishonen could accomplish under the spell of a Mary Sue. Hiwatari Satoshi, a boy a few years younger than her had begun to successfully drag her along with him toward what he was made to think was his future wife.  
"DAISUKEEE! DO SOMETHING!" Cicero cried.  
Daisuke blinked, looking around for something, anything he could use. A steel pipe might prove fatal. Rocks could kill him too. A hammer was too much. "DAISUKE!" Cicero called out. Satoshi was nearing the mary sue. If he helped her up, then all was lost. The mission would have been a failure.

Cicero braced herself. Something in her told her that she should have taken the revolver Hisui offered her before she left for the mission. She shut her eyes and hung on for dear life.  
Suddenly, all movement stopped.  
Someone had stopped Satoshi from moving.  
Blinking, she turned her gaze upward. A man clothed in completely white held a two-by-four in his hand and a smirk on his lips. "Skye!" Cicero cried happily, more than relieved to see her partner. Skye picked up the ko'ed Satoshi and slung him over his shoulder as one would a rag doll. Daisuke came around, lugging what seemed to be a rock. He too blinked up at the male. "Who…?" he began to ask when Cicero tugged at his sleeve. The Sue was coming to and it was best they get moving before he too was "charmed. "Introductions later. Let's get going." She smiled.

End of Chapter 2-

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Well, that was fun.  
Will the BRA be able to rescue Hiwatari from the Sue's powers?  
Did that two-by-four hurt?  
Will Cicero have to bring the boys to the headquarters?  
Liked it? Loved it?  
Loathed it?

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	3. Too late

**Disclaimers**: I still don't own DNAngel. Krad still isn't screwing Satoshi stupid, is he? Cicero F Kahran and Stefan "Skye Fiinix" Virocci appear c/o Rokuryu Studios. The Bishonen Rescue Agency (BRA) is a joint concept between a few friends of mine and myself. Agents mentioned within this chapter and the following chapters are based on actual writers and companions of mine who have agreed to be in the BRA.  
**Author's Note**: I may have need for more agents. Anyone interested? Let me know in yer comments.

Hiwatari and the Mary Sue Hunt

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Skye lay the limp body down on the bed. "Sorry I had to do that." He sighed, running fingers gently through his own silver hair in frustration. Cicero shook her head, waiting for Daisuke to enter the room before shutting the door behind him. "It's no problem. If you didn't whack him with that two-by-four, that Sue coulda taken him off." She replied, curling up in an armchair. 

The agent and her partner had brought the unconscious Commander to their apartment room not too far from the boys' school. Daisuke settled in a chair located beside the bed.  
"Will… will he be alright..?" he asked, looking up at Skye.

"He'll be fine…" Skye replied, rolling his shoulders and heading to the kitchen.

Cicero folded her legs beneath her, watching Daisuke with the smallest smile. "Worried about your friend?" she chuckled. Daisuke merely nodded, staring at the carpeted floor behind his feet. "What do you expect? I knocked him over the head with a plank of wood." Skye smirked, coming back into the room with nothing more than a pair of pants on, a towel over his shoulder and a cool glass of water in his hand. Silver hair fell slack over his bare chest and a pair of silver wings flared from behind him.

Daisuke and Cicero couldn't help but stare.

Skye raised an eyebrow. "What?" he demanded, blinking. Daisuke shook his head and turned his gaze back down to the floor. Cicero merely smirked in reply. Suddenly, the three heard a groan from the bed.

"He's coming to!" Daisuke cried, standing.

Cicero pulled herself from the chair and to the side of the bed opposite where Daisuke sat. "Mebbe knocking him out nulled the effects of the Mary Sue's aura.." she mused, eyes trained on the bluenette. Sapphire eyes met ruby as the Commander sat up.

"Where… am I, Daisuke…?" he asked, massaging his temples.

The agent pulled a leg up and folded it beneath her form. "Your name is Hiwatari Satoshi, commander of the local police force against the Phantom Thief Dark. He is your classmate, Niwa Daisuke. My name is Cicero, an agent of the Bishonen Rescue Agency and this is my partner, Skye Fiinix. Is all of this familiar to you?" she asked. Satoshi merely nodded.

He scanned the room in what seemed to be a frantic search for something. "L… Lily!" he cried suddenly. "Who?" Cicero, Skye and Daisuke demanded almost at the same time. "Who the hell's Lily?" Cicero asked, eyebrow rose quizzically.

Daisuke merely shrugged.

"The sue…" Skye murred softly.

"Uso…" Cicero groaned, shaking her head. "This is NOT happening!" Maybe she was losing her touch. She was the best field agent… nay, the ONLY field agent the BRA had to offer and she had lost this bishonen to the Mary Sue.

It wouldn't happen.

She'd rescue Satoshi even if it cost her her badge.

Amber eyes turned to Skye. "Stefan. Go out there and hunt down our Sue. I'll call headquarters." She ordered. Skye smirked rather confidently, delivering a salute.. He liked it when his partner called her by his real name. It showed she meant business.

Usually, heads rolled when his partner meant business.

Cicero pulled herself up from where she sat and made her way to the phone. "Wait.. Kahran-san! What… what do I do?" Daisuke asked, taking Satoshi's hand. The agent turned to him, taking the wireless phone off its cradle. "You stay by his side and try to keep his senses together. Try to talk him back into reality. As far as you two are concerned, Lily does NOT exist!" she ordered.

Dialing furiously, she waited until someone picked up the phone. "Hisui?" the agent asked, leaning against a wall. "We need a Retrieval unit here asap. One of the Sues got our client."

Meanwhile, Skye wandered the streets, remaining in the same alleyway where he had met up with his partner. "She's gotta be around here somewhere… Sues don't disappear into thin air…" he grumbled, leaning back against the cold stone wall.

"Sir…?" asked a timid voice.

Skye turned to see a pair of perfect blue eyes. Quickly, he spun to the direction of the sound, revolver in hand, cocked and ready. "Oh shit…" said the same voice. "And here I thought you were that Hiwatari boy."

Silver eyes narrowed at the girl. "That's the problem with you sues… you guys seem so sweet and innocent on the outside but deep inside you're cold hearted bitches trying to break apart a perfectly good yaoi pair." Skye groaned, revolver still turned to the girl. "You know your powers won't work on me…"

"I'm not canon(1) yet."

A small smirk crossed the earlier sweet face. "That's the problem with you OCs.(2) Not as vulnerable. But wait and see, Skye. Wait til The Cleansing(3) becomes a hit!" the Sue laughed and disappeared in the most cliché way possible.

END OF CHAPTER 3-

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1 Canon – Characters that actually exist in a series 

2 OC – Original Character, usually have a storyline of their own

3 The Cleansing – A post-apocalyptic plot where Skye actually belongs. Prologue and Chapter One available on plugging, folks)

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	4. To the BRA cave!

**Disclaimer**: Nope. Still don't own DNAngel. Cicero F. Kahran and Stefan "Skye Fiinix" Virocci appear c/o Rokuryu Studios. The BRA is a joint project between a few friends and myself. Said friends appear property of themselves. Other agents mentioned belong to themselves as well.  
**Author's note**: Hmm… I'm a bit stuck onto what happens after this and the next chapter. If anyone can give me a plot idea to continue with, I'd be happy to accept it. Oh and.. if anyone wonders, I myself am a firm yaoi supporter. –waves around the Krad/Sato banner-

Hiwatari and the Mary Sue Hunt

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Daisuke watched in worry as a bunch of other females and several males entered the apartment. Cicero looked on with a stern eye, barking out orders to the agents. "Alright, guys! Be gentle with him. He's still a bishonen after all and we wanna take good care of him, don't we…?" she asked. A few agents nodded, a few others saluted and preceded to tie down the bluenette with leather belts and subduing him completely by securing him with a strait jacket. Daisuke's eyes widened in surprise as they wheeled the commander out on a gurney and into a van.

"Where… where are you taking him!" he demanded.

"Back to the headquarters." Cicero replied sternly.

Ruby eyes blinked. "Take me with you!" Daisuke cried. Cicero merely sighed, petting the redhead, her stern visage softening into a smile. "Oh, ok. What the hell." She smiled. Happily, Daisuke clung onto the agent. At least he would be alerted to what was happening to his friend.

A shadow approached the van and the agents. Cicero didn't need to glance at it to know that the said shadow belonged to her partner. "How'd the hunt go?" she asked as he landed. Skye merely leaned back against the van. "Heh.. typical sue. Disappeared after taunting me." He replied with the same smirk of nothing more than pure amusement playing on his lips.

Cicero rolled her eyes with a small sigh. Typical Sue indeed. With the same smile, she took Daisuke's hand and lead the other into the Van with her.

"To the headquarters!"

The van wheeled into the parking lot of what seemed to be an old, abandoned candy factory. Cicero nodded to the rest of the agents who wheeled the subdues bluenette into said factory. "Cmon, Niwa-kun.. we're gonna take the front door." She smirked, nodding to Daisuke and Skye.

A steel door protecting the interior of the factory rolled to the side, revealing an empty room with nothing more than a fortune cat in it. The statue's paw moved up and down, up and down in a nearly pendulum like motion, as if beckoning one to approach and try to discover its secrets.

"Watch this." Cicero smirked.

She approached the cat and placed her open palm upon its forehead. "We brought popcorn and pizza." She said rather seriously. The cat turned its huge eyes to her and mewed. "Welcome back, Agents Kahran, Fiinix and guest." It mewled before swinging aside to reveal an elevator. Cicero smirked, pulling off her cap and lead Daisuke into the elevator car with a sweep of her arm. Skye unceremoniously shoved her and the bewildered Niwa into the elevator which rumbled to a start almost immediately. "Welcome to the headquarters, Niwa-kun." Cicero smiled as the interior of the factory came into view.

Upon further inspection, the factory was no factory at all. It was a place buzzing with energy. The interior was made of nothing more than steel with glass dividing it into different rooms. Agents ran, flew, skittered, walked and even roller-bladed over the metal floor. Several threw Cicero and Skye winks and waves as the elevator descended. In a rather businesslike manner, Cicero stalked out of the elevator and off into the crowd.

Daisuke struggled to keep up, knowing he could very much get lost in this whole new place. "K… Kahran-san!" he panted. "P… please wait!" But the agent was deaf to his protests. She swung open the door where two other agents dealt with a blonde monk and a redhead.

"Yuri-chan, how're things going with Sanzo and Gojyo?" Cicero asked.

One of the agents looked up. "Not good." She sighed. "The Sue got him bad but I think I'm making progress." Cicero merely nodded and looked over a few notes. "Well, carry on." She sighed and took a clipboard of her own. Dri, the second agent looked up from the examination table. "Back from the Hiwatari case so soon?" she asked.

"I brought the case home." Cicero replied.

Dri cringed. Whenever Cicero brought the case home, it usually meant it was too much for her to handle. "Can I come to the therapy session?" Dri asked, slipping away. Cicero merely nodded and headed to the door.

"Yuri, get me a report when those two are back to normal." She called before leaving.

In another room, Hiwatari lay subdued by leather and strait jacket, unconscious on a soft feather bed. He struggled in his 'sleep', plagued by what seemed to be false memories. The aura of the Mary Sue coursed through his system.

The agents had to act before it was too late.

END OF CHAPTER FOUR-

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Whew… Been updating at a chapter a day.  
A new record for me. X.x  
I still need an idea for Chappie 6.

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	5. Little Boy Broth?

**Disclaimer**: Still don't own DNAngel. I do however own this horrible lower back pain that prevents me from doing anything but spazz before the comp. Cicero F. Kahran and Stefan "Skye Fiinix" Virocci appear c/o Rokuryu Studios. Authors mentioned here belong to themselves.

**Author's Note**: Anyone know a good brand of pain reliever…? X.x

Hiwatari and the Mary Sue Hunt

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Cicero entered the room with a sigh of what seemed to be discontentment. Another agent looked up at her and turned back to checking her notes. "How's he going, Nami?" she asked, tilting her cap at the usual angle it was in. "Not good…" the agent with the clipboard sighed.

"The Mary Sue's aura is placing false memories in his head."

Cicero merely sighed once more. So much for hope

"Look…" she murmured, running her fingers through her hair. "When he comes to, we'll give him a cleansing and put him through therapy. Keep an eye on him." And with that, she left the room.

Daisuke looked up worriedly at Cicero as she returned to them. "How… how is he?" the redhead asked. Cicero raised an eyebrow. "Don't make this a hospital drama, kid. We're doing the best we can. He'll come to. We're sure." She replied. Skye pulled himself from the wall and turned to his partner. "This isn't Hiwatari's first time here, is it?" he asked. Cicero merely shook her head. Indeed, it wasn't.

"The last time he was here, we had to purge this memory a pregnant!sue left with him." She groaned. Skye nodded in agreement. Daisuke blinked. How come he didn't remember that? Cicero turned to him. "We had to do a full mind sweep just so you guys could go on with your lives." She replied.

Skye stuffed his hands in his pockets. "We work sorta like the Men In Black. We eradicate the scum, save the bish and mindsweep you guys so you don't remember we were even there."

"We got agents all over the place." He added, staring at the ceiling.

The sight of several agents proved this.

There were some wearing uniforms reflective of some schools where bishonen studied. Some wore ceremonial robes of temple maidens, some who were working on the Magdalia case wore nun habits. Some others were dressed like demons and such. Cicero glanced off at the agents.

"Most agents team up with an OC of theirs just in case they need extra fire power on the field… like me and Skye here. Most others work alone here in the lab, caring for the ones we bring back." She explained. "Sey here's different. Since she was the BRA's first ever field agent, she isn't assigned to protect anyone in particular." Skye smirked. "Yeah.. we pop in here and there, checking for the presence of Sues when we can. This time around, we decided to check on your side of the world." Cicero chuckled.

"Lucky we did." Skye nodded.

Suddenly, the door opened and the agent from before peered out.

"Sey-chan? Satoshi's up."

Cicero nodded and turned to a wall speaker.

"Get me three other agents to the Hiwatari case." She barked into it.

Much later, Cicero and the three agents she called for were gathered in a large room. Satoshi was brought from his "hospital ward" and made to sit in a large leather armchair in the middle of it. Behind a one-way mirror, Skye clapped a hand over Daisuke's shoulder with a small smile.

"Don't worry about Hiwatari-kun." Skye grinned.

"The agents are professionals."

"WHO THE HELL IS THE SUE WHO DARED INTERFERE WITH HIWATARI-KUN! I'LL STRANGLE HER! I'LL LOP HER HEAD OFF!" cried an agent called K. Dri stood behind the other and grabbed her by the armpits. "Sorry, Sey… she's a newcomer, a real livewire!" she chuckled. Cicero merely nodded and turned her cap over her eyes. "Yuri, you have the salt bath ready?" she asked.

At that, Yuriko wheeled in a humongous tray of nothing but salt. "Iodized or Rock?" Cicero asked. "Iodized. If you go cleaning him with rock salt, you might scratch him or something." Yuri laughed.

"True, true…." Cicero chuckled.

From behind the one-way mirror, Daisuke blinked. "A-anou… Fiinix-san… what are they doing?" he asked. "You know how salt drives away evil spirits?" he asked. "It's something like that." Skye replied. Daisuke managed a nervous smile. So they were going to spray him with salt. Not a problem.

"Alright, everyone.." Cicero smirked.

"Get ready to roll!"

Daisuke's ruby eyes widened in horror as he saw Satoshi being lifted off the ground and suddenly rolled into the salt. Yes, rolled.

The only sound one could hear from the cleaning room was the chant of "Heave ho! Heave ho!" as Dri, Yuriko and K began to roll Satoshi back and forth over the pan of iodized salt. Skye felt his right eye twitching. This part of the cleansing always made him twitch. Daisuke stood by the taller man's side, stunned.

The next part of the cleaning did nothing to calm his fears.

Next, Dri rolled in what seemed to be a giant bubbling cauldron. "Fi.. fiinix-san.. what are they going to do next…?" Daisuke stammered. "Bath." Skye merely noted, folding his arms across his chest.

Daisuke nearly fainted when Satoshi was dunked into the vat.

Cicero sweatdropped, unaware of what the rest of the agents were doing. She turned around just in time to see an emotionless Hiwatari sitting in a vat of boiling water. Dri stirred said water while Yuri added carrots and potatoes into the "stew". "WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU'RE DOING!" Cicero demanded.

"Um… little boy broth?" Dri smiled nervously.

"I told them it was a bad idea…" sighed K.

"Want a taste?" asked Yuri.

"Get him out and give him a REAL bath." Cicero groaned.

END OF CHAPTER FIVE-

**

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Review replies!**

**Ribbonkitty** – Interesting possibility. I don't want anything to do with the Harada twins, tho. I have to say, I LOATHE Sato/Risa so… that's not happening.

**Frozenmagicfire** – Yes, I know Saiyuki. Yuri-chan is a friend of mine who likes it so.. yeah. XD I might not do any shonen-ai in this fic, tho.. Never liked anything but Krad/Sato..

**Les Scribbles** – Kradders….? XD

I'd like to thank Dri for the soup idea.  
There's an actual Mary Sue suggested in this chapter. XD  
Now then… next chapter: Therapy!  
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Review!


	6. Therapy

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel but I do own this horrible backache and my therapy bills. Cicero F. Kahran and Stefan "Skye Fiinix" Virocci appear c/o Rokuryu Studios. Authors mentioned here belong to themselves.

**Author's Notes:** Yes, I now take therapy for my lower back. Ah well… at least it ain't fatal. I haven't updated for a while, haven't I? Well, I blame my internet connection for timing out. –sighs- Anyway, on with the fic. By the by, I've come up with several other SueHunts and I've decided to call them (collectively) The BRA Sue Saga. Look out for one in the Shaman King area and the YGO section.

Hiwatari and the Mary Sue Hunt

* * *

As soon as the Commander was properly bathed, the group of agents resumed their little therapy session in the same room they had "cleansed" him in. Dri, K, Yuri and a few other agents were settled in couches as Cicero paced before Satoshi who was made to sit in a large satin armchair. Another agent named Hikari had joined Daisuke behind the one way mirror. Skye had been called to the room to aid his agent.

Amber eyes narrowed at rather blank sapphire.

Cicero grunted as she began to pace before the commander.

"Now then…" she began. "Who the hell is Lily?" At mention of the name, Satoshi seemed to show a measure of emotion. "Lily?" he asked, in a near frenzy. "Where… where is she? Is she alright? I must get to her!" Cicero merely rolled her eyes. "This is the BRA, honey and I'm an agent. I'm asking the questions here!" she barked. A few agents behind them flinched. Sey rarely lost her temper against a bishonen.

She indeed meant business.

Amber eyes narrowed once more. "Now tell me. Who. Is. Lily?" Her voice was cold and calculating, eyes angered in irritation. Satoshi turned to her with the same sort of arrogance. "Lily is my Lily! We were childhood sweethearts! We've known each other since we was three and then she moved away but now she's back and we're gonna marry!" he cried.

Skye raised an eyebrow and turned to his partner. "Not good." He observed. Cicero turned to him with a curious look. Skye turned his attention to his partner. "The sue's aura is making him have bad grammar and run on sentences." Cicero sighed and shook her head.

This was a bad sign.

A gasp ran through the room a moment later. Cicero's hand stung as it swept over Satoshi's cheek in what was a rather hard slap. Just to bring him back to his senses. "There is no Lily in your reality. And as soon as you're back to normal…" She began most firmly.

"We too do not exist."

The agents behind her nodded.

Cicero glared at Satoshi. This was becoming even more difficult it seemed. "Listen. You do NOT love Lily." She argued. "Absolutely right." Skye agreed, drawing dangerously close to Satoshi. "You love me!" he cried.

And with that, Skye kissed the Commander so deeply…

Yaoi fans in the BRA couldn't help but stare.

The sound of another slap rang through the room. This time, Skye's cheek stung and all Cicero felt was the warm glow of triumph. "Wrong Satoshi, Skye." The agent smirked and turned back to Hiwatari who seemed to fume with the indignity of being kissed by a man.

"Gomen…" Skye groaned.

Cicero turned back to Satoshi. "Not in your wildest dreams do you have a woman you fancy!" she cried. "Not even that Harada freak?" asked an agent from the back. "Yes, not even that Harada freak." Cicero confirmed. The agent blinked, watching her senior rather curiously. "But who are we to say that Hiwatari-kun isn't in love with Risa-san?" she asked, placing her hands on her lap.

Cicero's eyes shimmered as she turned to the agent.

"For the sake of my sanity, he's not." She growled and turned her attention back to Satoshi. "Well, since the Sue's got him good, the best we can do right now is to milk him for information." She sighed.

Skye nodded and pulled out a small notebook.

With the information, they could pull together a strike team.

A sue was at large and it wasn't good.

That night, Cicero, Skye and Daisuke watched over Satoshi. It took a few tranquilizer shots but the Commander was finally asleep in the bed they had provided for him. "Kahran-san…? Will he be alright?" Daisuke asked. Cicero leaned against the doorframe with a yawn. "Yeah, he'll be fine, kiddo. I'm sure." She replied. The agent wasn't sure if she was lying through her teeth, though. Who knew what this sue could do? Who knew just how powerful it was?

The three watched on in silence until Cicero pulled herself away from the wall. "Well, we're calling it a night, Niwa-kun. I'm going to form a strike team tomorrow and Skye's gonna keep Satoshi here for more therapy. I could bring ya home tomorrow if you want." She offered.

Daisuke merely looked up. "Thank you but no thanks, Kahran-san." He smiled before turning his attention back to Satoshi. "I'd rather stay here and make sure Hiwatari-kun will be alright."

Cicero smiled back. "Suit yerself, kid. Skye, I'm going ta bed." She smirked and walked off, her partner following after her. With no company left in the room, Daisuke turned his attention back to his sleeping friend.

"I hope they get you back to normal, Hiwatari-kun…" he sighed.

"They don't know what normal are, Niwa-kun…"

Daisuke's ruby eyes widened as Satoshi sat up from bed. "Hiwatari-kun! Yokatta! You're alright!" he smiled, happily embracing his friend. "Will you help me, Niwa-kun? Help me to returns to my one true love?" Saotshi asked. Daisuke winced at the bad grammar, a sure sign the sue's aura still remained in him. "B… but.. Hiwatari-kun… the agents said…" Daisuke protested.

"Forget what the agent's said." Saotshi hissed, cutting him off.

"Help me escape, Niwa-kun." He repeated. Daisuke nibbled his own lower lip nervously. He knew Satoshi was ill but when a friend asked you to do something for them, then you did it.

END OF CHAPTER SIX-

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Man, I think I can actually end this!  
Keep your eyes out for more of the BRA Sue Saga!  
I love plugging…  
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	7. Red Alert!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DNAngel. Cicero F. Kahran and Stefan "Skye Fiinix" Virocci appear c/o Rokuryu Studios. Authors mentioned here belong to themselves. I'd like to thank my reviewers for the plot suggestions and the appearance of more canon charries in this fic.

**Author's Notes:** I apologize for the delayed updates. I'm kinda losing energy to continue this. School's started and all so I don't have enough time to write. Hmm.. "Of Sues and Sennen Items" isn't as successful as this. Pity.

Hiwatari and the Mary Sue Hunt

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The alarm sounded throughout the whole headquarters. Agents pulled themselves out of bed and scrambled for the nearest weapons they could find and prepared themselves for any sort of battle that might have presented itself. Cicero nodded to a few agents who ran by her bedroom door, pulling a handgun from her cabinet. Skye emerged from the kitchen, a spoon in his mouth. "Alright!" he cried. "I admit it! I was the one eating the secret ice cream stash in the basement refrigerator!"

Cicero blinked at her partner as she sped past. "Uh, Skye… this isn't about that." She protested, stopping to pull him out of the kitchen. Skye blinked back. "It's not?" he asked, mentally cursing himself for giving away his little secret.

"Commander! The breach was in sector 4-D!" called an agent.

"…Hiwatari's ward." Cicero realized.

Four agents stood behind the doorway, weapons drawn as one of them assessed the situation. It didn't look good. Satoshi was out of his room and already making his escape. "Hi-hiwatari-kun! You don't need to do this!" Daisuke protested as he struggled from the blunette's grip. Satoshi on the other hand bore a look that was unlike him, one of utter hatred and despair.

"You can't keep me away from my Lily!" he cried to the agents.

"Dude! Snap out of it!" Dri called, peeping from the hallway.

Satoshi merely narrowed his eyes at the agents gathered a good distance from him. He took a step back, climbing onto the windowsill. A hand reached back tentatively, opening said window, cold air blasting into the corridor and throwing dead leaves, and pebbles, dust and what have you at everyone gathered.

"What's the situation?" Cicero asked, coming in behind the other agents. Everyone gathered blinked, not expecting to see their commanding officer dressed in what seemed to be blue pajamas with teeny dragons on them. Cicero cocked her head to the side. "What!" she demanded.

"Not good, huh?" Skye sighed, coming in beside her. "Not good." Agreed another agent. Manic laughter came from the window, calling everyone's attention back to the demented commander and his 'hostage'. "You can't stop me from being with my one twu wuv! 1" Satoshi cried and leaped out of the window.

"One…" Cicero blinked.

"Twu wuv?" Skye asked, right eye twitching.

"We forgot about Daisuke!" called Dri.

"Not a problem." Came a voice from the windowsill. A tall teen stood by the open window, a hand out the window and gripping onto another hand. "Deffie!" Cicero cried, seeing the familiar form of the rebellious punk, purple tipped hair blowing in the wind. With the same smirk, the teen pulled whoever he gripped onto back inside.

As the rest of the agents ushered Daisuke back on his feet, Cicero stared out the window. "What about Hiwatari?" she asked, turning to Defiance. The seemingly older male merely shrugged. "Didn't see him… but I bet she did." He replied, gesturing out the window with a gloved hand.

"What the-?" Cicero demanded, seeing a girl in flight with the Commander in her arms.

Yuri merely slapped her forehead, joining Defiance and Cicero by the windowsill. "Go fig," she groaned. "A Sue from this universe… bound to have an angel of her own." Dri sighed, leaning against the windowsill as loud witchy laughter, rivaling those in The Wizard of Oz echoed throughout the night.

Cicero spun on her heel, turning to the rest of the agents. "Form a strike team. We move at dawn. The Sue's at large with our target." She ordered. Several agents saluted and were about to leave when a bloodcurdling scream followed as an end to the psycho laughter.

"What now?" Cicero groaned.

"Knew it!" Defiance laughed.

"Kurado…" glowered a deep, menacing voice from the end of the hallway.

A flutter of white feathers and a loud oomph later, Cicero and Defiance had Krad pulled into the open window. The blonde smirked, dusting his robes off and making his way to Dark. "Well, well… look what the cat's dragged in…" he smirked, lips curling most evilly. "How go things… Krud?" Dark asked, the same nonchalant smirk reflecting Krad's menacing one. "Rather well, thank you." Krad replied, eye to eye with Dark. One could see the very sparks of rivalry emanating from both 'angels'.

If looks could kill, both would have been dead on the spot. The agents watched the silent war with mute interest, some waving tiny flags that read "Yay Dark" or "Kraddykins forever". Cicero folded her arms across her chest, watching the two in stern silence. "So lemme get this straight.." she finally said.

"You're the one who screamed like a girl…?"

Both Krad and his followers looked appalled.

The smell of mint tea and coffee cake wafted in from the headquarter's concessionaire. The agents had gathered with Krad and Dark, occupying a table to discuss battle strategies. With the excitement over, some of the agents looked as if they indeed were ready to return to bed. Some had fallen asleep leaning against each other, some had falled asleep facefirst into their cake and some others had poured their tea into places other than their mouths and didn't mind.

Some had no problem staying up.

Cicero turned to their newfound guest, pouring tea for him. "So tell me, how and why did you separate from Hiwatari?" she asked, crossing her legs as she slipped into a chair before Krad. "And is it permanent?" K asked hopefully, popping in right beside Krad.

The head agent merely rolled her eyes, amused. "Answer the question." She prompted. Krad's eyes narrowed at the females in the room, taking a sip of tea and setting the teacup down before leaning back in his chair. "The moment I decide to check up on things and there she is, all the pinkness of the world gathered into one being!" he finally gasped, letting out a long breath.

"Pinkness?" Cicero asked, turning to Dark who sat a few chairs after Krad. The other shuddered at the very thought, eyes meeting the agent's. "Can't be as bad as that Sue who claimed to be Dark's sister." Dri laughed.

"Hmm.. yes… what was her name again?" Cicero wondered.

"Light." Yuri laughed.

"Go figure." Skye snickered.

Immediately, Dark looked up. "What!" he demanded. "Moving on." Cicero smirked, turning back to Krad. "Wait a sec here, you mean to say Sues have been after me too?" Dark demanded, clutching Cicero's pajama collar and lifting her from her seat. "Actually, Daaku, Sues are after you everyday. You just don't remember." She grinned innocently. Dark blinked and set the agent back to her seat.

"Now then.." she began, eyes scanning the room.

"We have to find a way to rid ourselves of this sue."

Dark grunted and turned away. "Why don't we just leave him to the Sue. Makes my life easier." He grumbled. "Daaku…" Daisuke silently protested from within the Phantom Thief.

Cicero smirked, watching Dark and his partner. There was something about Daisuke, something that seemed a bit out of place. There was a hint of worry, deep concern, perhaps even more that plagued the boy's heart. The agent merely nodded at Dri, crossing her legs as she leaned back into her seat.

"Ne, Dai-chan…?" she asked.

The redhead turned, his other half subdued for now. His feelings needed to be soothed, something else needed to bring inner calm. "What if I said you are our key to solving this whole catastrophe…? What if I said.." Cicero began, getting up.

"Hiwatari-kun needs you?"

Daisuke turned a shade deep enough to match his hair.

"Will you help us?" Cicero asked. The redhead's reply was barely a whisper, barely audible as he spoke. "Anything for Hiwatari-kun… anything to save him." He replied. The blush remained, even deeper now, it seemed.

The triumphant smirk returned to Cicero's lips.

She HAD found her trump card.

-END OF CHAPTER SEVEN-

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I feel this will end in slash, don't you…?

My apologies for the late update.

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